(no subject)
Jun. 1st, 2009 09:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wordslingingHEY, REMEMBER A MILLION YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS WRITING A VAMPIRE AU?
(Note so that no one gets their hopes up: this isn't a full update to the story, more just a "still alive!...sort of" status report.)
Yeah, about that...I'm honestly not sure what I want to do with Sharpest Things, at this point. Some days I start thinking about it out of nowhere and get an idea and go YES YES I AM TOTALLY GOING TO FINISH IT, and then I hit another mental roadblock and go WHO AM I KIDDING I'M NEVER GOING TO FINISH IT, and then I think about how it was my first bandom fic ever and the early chapters kind of make me cringe now, but then sometimes I still get comments from people going "IDK IF YOU'RE EVER GOING TO FINISH THIS BUT I HOPE YOU DO" and it's simultaneously guilt-inducing and touching!
So I don't know. I do want to give it some kind of an ending, which may not be the ending it was originally going to have and I still have to figure that out, but I don't want to leave the people who still want it hanging. So I guess right now I'm just saying no promises, but watch this space?
I've had the part that comes right after where I left off written and sitting on my hard drive for uh, a while? And since I'm not sure what else I'm going to write for this AU or when it's going to get written, here's that part, at least. It's just a snippet, but I know some of you out there have been wanting to know what happens next, so here it is.
(For reference, since, y'know, it's been a million years: Chapter 9.)
Gerard wakes up groggy and disoriented, with a dull ache behind his eyes. It takes a while for everything to come back to him—the trap, Branden, Frank.
He sits up, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. When the sky had started lightening last night, he and Mikey had still been sitting around, waiting to hear if Frank would be all right or not. Now it’s just after sunset, and there are voices coming from upstairs in what sounds like an argument. Gerard drags himself out of bed, changes into clothes that don't have a lingering smell of blood clinging to them, and heads up.
“—because it was my fucking idea, that’s why,” Frank is saying as Gerard emerges into the hallway.
Gerard steps into the living room doorway and looks around, finding everyone there but Mikey. Frank’s ensconced on the couch, pale but alert, a thick white bandage on his wrist. Bob and Ray are sitting to either side of him, and Brian’s on his feet, pacing. He turns, starting to say something in reply to Frank, and then stops when he catches sight of Gerard.
The other three look over as well, and Gerard glances back at Frank. When their eyes meet, he can hear Frank’s pulse speed up a little.
“…Formula,” Gerard says into the tense silence, and turns around, heading for the kitchen.
Mikey’s there, already throwing things into the blender. The mixture is harder than usual to choke down tonight, cold and gluey, but it still forces the hunger back, tamps it down enough that Gerard can deal with it. Even so, when he and Mikey go back into the living room together, Gerard stays near the door, keeping his distance from every warm body in the room, not just Frank.
“Are you okay?” he asks Frank, leaning against the wall.
Frank holds up his wrist. “Funnily enough, doctors around here are pretty good with emergency transfusions. I’m good.”
“This time,” Brian cuts in, looking over at Gerard with his arms folded.
Gerard looks back at him calmly. “Do we have a problem, Brian?”
It’s Ray who answers. “Frank told us what happened. If it really was his idea—”
“It was, Toro,” Frank interjects impatiently.
“—Then we’re not gonna give you a hard time for doing what you had to do to get out of there.”
“But maybe you’re the one who should tell us if we’ve got a problem,” Brian adds, his tone carefully neutral.
Gerard looks around at them all and shrugs self-consciously, folding his own arms. “Well, I mean. I’ve got no intentions of, like, ditching the formula and going after anyone just because I tasted blood again, but...the urge is probably gonna be stronger for at least a while, I guess? And I've got every intention of being careful with it, but I won’t blame the rest of you if you want to be careful around me, too.”
"All right," Brian says, and rubs the back of his neck with one hand. "I don't think anyone should be alone with you for a while, if we can avoid it. Not just Frank, all of us."
"Except me," Mikey interjects, and when everyone looks over at him he raises his eyebrows slightly, as if daring them to challenge it.
Brian nods. "Okay. But the rest of us."
"Fair enough," Gerard agrees.
Bob speaks up for the first time. "I think we should call a halt on the sparring for a while, too. I can give you some exercises to keep training with on your own, but..."
He trails off, shrugging, and Gerard nods. "Probably a good idea."
Frank stays quiet through all of this, eyes darting to Brian and Bob as they speak and back to Gerard as he answers. He's got his hands shoved in the pocket of his hoodie now, bandaged wrist hidden from view.
No one else says anything for a second, and then Ray leans forward, breaking the awkward silence. "Can we talk about the positives here? I think we actually came out on top, considering we didn't lose anyone and they did."
Bob nods. "Toro's got a point. And we know about one of their hideouts that we didn't before--"
"They've probably already abandoned it," Gerard points out. "They probably wouldn't have used the house I was turned in again, except to have a place to lure me to. I should've realized that."
Mikey shrugs. "Okay, so now we know at least two places they're not likely to be using."
"And," Frank chimes in, with a grim smile, "We know that, given a perfectly good opportunity to just kill us, they chose to keep us alive so they could play bullshit vampire games with us instead--no offense, Gerard."
"None taken," Gerard replies dryly.
The others keep talking, strategy and what-ifs and what their next move should be, after a minute Gerard slips away, back down the hall to the kitchen where the sound and smell of warm, beating hearts is fainter, more bearable. He sits down, putting his elbows on the kitchen table and his head in his hands, and concentrates on breathing. Not that he needs to breathe--he doesn't do it at all, if he's not thinking about it--but it's good to keep in practice, so he remembers to do it if he ever needs to pass for human, and it's a good way to keep his mind off...other things.
It's a while before Frank comes down the hall and stands in the doorway. Gerard hears him coming, of course, but he doesn't look up, not even when Frank speaks.
"Hey--we're gonna go, okay? Schechter's making cranky noises about me not still being in bed with an IV or some shit like that."
"Okay," Gerard says, not moving.
Frank hovers in the doorway for a second, then crosses the room to stand right in front of the table. Gerard does look up then, surprised and incredibly aware of how close Frank is.
"Look--" Frank begins haltingly. "I just wanted to--You fucking saved my life, man, okay? Just don't forget that. I'm not going to."
Gerard looks up at him for a moment, and then nods, smiling just a little. "Okay, Frank."
"Frank?" Behind them, Bob appears in the doorway. "You ready to go or not, kid?"
He doesn't say anything about how they just agreed no one should be alone with Gerard, but there's a clear reminder in his tone.
"Yeah, 'm coming," Frank says over his shoulder, and then looks back at Gerard. He looks as though he wants to say something else, but all he comes up with is, "Later, I guess", and then he's gone.
(Note so that no one gets their hopes up: this isn't a full update to the story, more just a "still alive!...sort of" status report.)
Yeah, about that...I'm honestly not sure what I want to do with Sharpest Things, at this point. Some days I start thinking about it out of nowhere and get an idea and go YES YES I AM TOTALLY GOING TO FINISH IT, and then I hit another mental roadblock and go WHO AM I KIDDING I'M NEVER GOING TO FINISH IT, and then I think about how it was my first bandom fic ever and the early chapters kind of make me cringe now, but then sometimes I still get comments from people going "IDK IF YOU'RE EVER GOING TO FINISH THIS BUT I HOPE YOU DO" and it's simultaneously guilt-inducing and touching!
So I don't know. I do want to give it some kind of an ending, which may not be the ending it was originally going to have and I still have to figure that out, but I don't want to leave the people who still want it hanging. So I guess right now I'm just saying no promises, but watch this space?
I've had the part that comes right after where I left off written and sitting on my hard drive for uh, a while? And since I'm not sure what else I'm going to write for this AU or when it's going to get written, here's that part, at least. It's just a snippet, but I know some of you out there have been wanting to know what happens next, so here it is.
(For reference, since, y'know, it's been a million years: Chapter 9.)
Gerard wakes up groggy and disoriented, with a dull ache behind his eyes. It takes a while for everything to come back to him—the trap, Branden, Frank.
He sits up, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. When the sky had started lightening last night, he and Mikey had still been sitting around, waiting to hear if Frank would be all right or not. Now it’s just after sunset, and there are voices coming from upstairs in what sounds like an argument. Gerard drags himself out of bed, changes into clothes that don't have a lingering smell of blood clinging to them, and heads up.
“—because it was my fucking idea, that’s why,” Frank is saying as Gerard emerges into the hallway.
Gerard steps into the living room doorway and looks around, finding everyone there but Mikey. Frank’s ensconced on the couch, pale but alert, a thick white bandage on his wrist. Bob and Ray are sitting to either side of him, and Brian’s on his feet, pacing. He turns, starting to say something in reply to Frank, and then stops when he catches sight of Gerard.
The other three look over as well, and Gerard glances back at Frank. When their eyes meet, he can hear Frank’s pulse speed up a little.
“…Formula,” Gerard says into the tense silence, and turns around, heading for the kitchen.
Mikey’s there, already throwing things into the blender. The mixture is harder than usual to choke down tonight, cold and gluey, but it still forces the hunger back, tamps it down enough that Gerard can deal with it. Even so, when he and Mikey go back into the living room together, Gerard stays near the door, keeping his distance from every warm body in the room, not just Frank.
“Are you okay?” he asks Frank, leaning against the wall.
Frank holds up his wrist. “Funnily enough, doctors around here are pretty good with emergency transfusions. I’m good.”
“This time,” Brian cuts in, looking over at Gerard with his arms folded.
Gerard looks back at him calmly. “Do we have a problem, Brian?”
It’s Ray who answers. “Frank told us what happened. If it really was his idea—”
“It was, Toro,” Frank interjects impatiently.
“—Then we’re not gonna give you a hard time for doing what you had to do to get out of there.”
“But maybe you’re the one who should tell us if we’ve got a problem,” Brian adds, his tone carefully neutral.
Gerard looks around at them all and shrugs self-consciously, folding his own arms. “Well, I mean. I’ve got no intentions of, like, ditching the formula and going after anyone just because I tasted blood again, but...the urge is probably gonna be stronger for at least a while, I guess? And I've got every intention of being careful with it, but I won’t blame the rest of you if you want to be careful around me, too.”
"All right," Brian says, and rubs the back of his neck with one hand. "I don't think anyone should be alone with you for a while, if we can avoid it. Not just Frank, all of us."
"Except me," Mikey interjects, and when everyone looks over at him he raises his eyebrows slightly, as if daring them to challenge it.
Brian nods. "Okay. But the rest of us."
"Fair enough," Gerard agrees.
Bob speaks up for the first time. "I think we should call a halt on the sparring for a while, too. I can give you some exercises to keep training with on your own, but..."
He trails off, shrugging, and Gerard nods. "Probably a good idea."
Frank stays quiet through all of this, eyes darting to Brian and Bob as they speak and back to Gerard as he answers. He's got his hands shoved in the pocket of his hoodie now, bandaged wrist hidden from view.
No one else says anything for a second, and then Ray leans forward, breaking the awkward silence. "Can we talk about the positives here? I think we actually came out on top, considering we didn't lose anyone and they did."
Bob nods. "Toro's got a point. And we know about one of their hideouts that we didn't before--"
"They've probably already abandoned it," Gerard points out. "They probably wouldn't have used the house I was turned in again, except to have a place to lure me to. I should've realized that."
Mikey shrugs. "Okay, so now we know at least two places they're not likely to be using."
"And," Frank chimes in, with a grim smile, "We know that, given a perfectly good opportunity to just kill us, they chose to keep us alive so they could play bullshit vampire games with us instead--no offense, Gerard."
"None taken," Gerard replies dryly.
The others keep talking, strategy and what-ifs and what their next move should be, after a minute Gerard slips away, back down the hall to the kitchen where the sound and smell of warm, beating hearts is fainter, more bearable. He sits down, putting his elbows on the kitchen table and his head in his hands, and concentrates on breathing. Not that he needs to breathe--he doesn't do it at all, if he's not thinking about it--but it's good to keep in practice, so he remembers to do it if he ever needs to pass for human, and it's a good way to keep his mind off...other things.
It's a while before Frank comes down the hall and stands in the doorway. Gerard hears him coming, of course, but he doesn't look up, not even when Frank speaks.
"Hey--we're gonna go, okay? Schechter's making cranky noises about me not still being in bed with an IV or some shit like that."
"Okay," Gerard says, not moving.
Frank hovers in the doorway for a second, then crosses the room to stand right in front of the table. Gerard does look up then, surprised and incredibly aware of how close Frank is.
"Look--" Frank begins haltingly. "I just wanted to--You fucking saved my life, man, okay? Just don't forget that. I'm not going to."
Gerard looks up at him for a moment, and then nods, smiling just a little. "Okay, Frank."
"Frank?" Behind them, Bob appears in the doorway. "You ready to go or not, kid?"
He doesn't say anything about how they just agreed no one should be alone with Gerard, but there's a clear reminder in his tone.
"Yeah, 'm coming," Frank says over his shoulder, and then looks back at Gerard. He looks as though he wants to say something else, but all he comes up with is, "Later, I guess", and then he's gone.
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no subject
Date: 2009-06-02 02:56 am (UTC)or you just want there to be a space on my couch but :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD that was a motherfuck of a cliffhanger and at least I won't WASTE AWAY wondering how Brian/everyone were going to react.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD of course now I do want to know what happens but this is still awesome.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-02 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-02 04:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-03 01:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-02 11:25 am (UTC)Needs to be finished for like, the sake of mankind. *waves hands at you*
no subject
Date: 2009-06-03 01:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-02 02:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-02 05:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-03 05:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-03 06:21 am (UTC)Um, yeah, none of that had anything to do with this. I'm pro-choice, too, despite all the guilt people try to heap upon me for that decision. It's rough in the South, I'm tellin' you.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-06 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 02:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 01:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 02:55 pm (UTC)Also, that's the weirdness of posting a WIP, isn't it? Writing in public, so to speak. The way any story unfolds while you're writing it, you might end up somewhere entirely different, and then people get to see that movement. I'm glad to hear you still want to tell this story--I very much want to read it.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-05 03:11 pm (UTC)Vampire AU
Date: 2009-06-07 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-09 09:52 pm (UTC)I'm not going to beg for this to get more updates or to update tomorrow or imediately or whatever (a forced fic is never a good fic XD) but I will be ecstatic next time this gets updated - ecstatic!
no subject
Date: 2009-06-15 03:10 am (UTC)This was one of the first bandom fics I read (which actually wasn't that long ago...heh) and I still love it. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-02-19 12:20 pm (UTC)Don't mean to be a bother but...
IT'S AMAZING!
no subject
Date: 2010-05-04 10:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 06:56 am (UTC)